Pay Attention to the Little Things

“Things don’t go bad in a marriage in an instant. The character of a marriage is not formed in one grand moment. Things in a marriage go bad progressively. Things become sweet and beautiful progressively. The development and deepening of the love in a marriage happens by things that are done daily; this is also true with the sad deterioration of a marriage. The problem is that we simply don’t pay attention, and because of this we allow ourselves to think, desire, say and do things that we shouldn’t.” Paul David Tripp-What Were You Expecting?

Some examples of everyday things that can snowball into a hazard for our marriages or cause sweet harmony.

• Do you continue to do something you know aggravates your spouse or do you stop out of consideration? (leaving shirts on the floor, crinkling the toothpaste tube, burping out loud, etc...)
• Do you replace the toilet paper roll or leave it for your spouse to do because you have had to do it the last 3 times (or load the dishwasher or take out the trash, etc…) 
• Do you complain about needless things or show gratitude and appreciation for things done right.
• Do you leave for work without a tender kiss for your spouse or do you kiss her and tell her you love her?
• Do you go to sleep at night irritated with one another or thankful to be lying next to the person you love?
• Is it more important to prove you are right or to make your spouse feel cherished and valued?
• Is it more important to point out all your spouse’s faults/mistakes or forgive him/her knowing that love covers a multitude of sins. (1 Peter 4:8)
• Do you do rude things now that you’re married that you may not have done while you were dating? Is it fair to think that your spouse doesn’t deserve the respect they did while dating?
• If you know your spouse likes something a certain way (and it is perfectly reasonable), do you try to please him/her or do you think it is too much effort?
• Do you always consider your spouse’s feelings before you say or do something?

You get the point, right? It’s the little, everyday acts of love or acts of selfishness that can eventually make or break a marriage. It is a simple fact that although we may think getting our own way makes us happy, selfishness never makes a happy marriage. Putting the other person’s needs above our own is the right thing to do. (Romans 12:10) When we look out for the interests of our spouse, we begin to experience much more love for him/her than when we would simply looking out for our own interests. And that makes everyone happy!