Don't Be a Tool

I have noticed something about marriages today that troubles me.  There seems to be a trend among married men or women who decide they no longer want to be married.  I have seen wives (mostly), some husbands and all the children involved, torn apart because one spouse thinks he or she wants something, usually someone, different. 

The excuse I have heard repeatedly, before the real reason comes out (usually another person) is they are no longer happy.  When did that become a reason to nullify your wedding vows? What a flimsy excuse!  We all have to work through things sometimes that we aren’t necessarily happy about. Marriage has highs and lows. Marriage takes work!  If you are unhappy, you work it out. You get counseling. You refocus your priorities. You stop thinking that there is something better out there, and pray about how you can make things better in your marriage. Even if it isn’t the actual reason, what makes a person think it even could be?

Equally disturbing, I have noticed when the truth comes out that the departing spouse has actually been seeing another person, there seems to be no repercussions.  The two people seem to flaunt what they have done.  Even Christians who have sinned and broken up their marriages seem to see no reason to repent. They often go right on serving in their positions, right on smiling while the offended spouse is left picking up the pieces, devastated and broken-hearted. While their children deal with a broken family, wondering what they’ve done wrong, insecure and traumatized.

Do I think they should hang their head in shame? Well, yes they should feel shame for their sin. They should feel sorrow for the hurt they have caused the people they promised to love.  Yes, the Bible teaches that God forgives when we repent. I John 1:9 says, “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”  But what I have seen is the lack of conviction that the offending party even needs to repent.  The idea that infidelity and leaving their family is no big deal and everyone should just move on is preposterous.  Not only does the person need to repent to God (Acts 2:38, Luke 13:3 among others), he/she needs to repent to the spouse and children they have sinned against (Matt.5:23-24, James 5:16).

It’s time that we start putting our family before our own feelings. The world has this idea that we should put ourselves, our own desires and our own happiness, first.  That is contrary to what the Bible teaches.  Romans 12:2 says, “Honor one another above yourself.”  1 Corinthians 13:5 “Love does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking…” Philippians 2:3-4 “Instead of being motivated by selfish ambition or vanity, each of you should treat one another as more important than yourself.  Each of you should be concerned not only about your own interest, but about the interest of others as well.”  

“Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.” (1 Peter 5:8) The devil wants to destroy marriages. Don’t let him destroy yours. Don’t be his instrument of destruction. Fight for your marriage. Protect your family. Breaking the hearts of people you care about for the sake of your own selfish desires is wrong. Plain and simple.